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The Thinker

The Thinker
Staring out the BUS, thinking abt life..

Monday, December 24, 2007

You must be BORED!

I'm so sorry to keep you waiting but time ust doesn't allow me to sit down for few hours to update what's going thru my life at the moment..sounds like excuses I know..and i dun think i wanna cover up also coz at times it's true that i'm giving excuses to myself.

Well, minus the photos and all, i'll just briefly tell onl what's going on here in Thinker's life.

Two weeks ago, i was in UK for about 10 days on an educational trip organised by the Malaysian Higher Education Ministry. 37 student council members from different IPTA were chosen to represent their universities to be the delegation.

AFter coming back, I had to attend a camp by Biro Tata Negara (BTN) in Ulu Kenas, Perak and that place was really Ulu maximum..hehe

Then after coming back, straight into Perkampungan MPP for meetings after meetings.....

This is the brief intro of everything in my life...I promise to update everything tmr since it's Christmas. Officially getting off for a day from all the 'bullshit'...Since I can't go back, might as well put the time to satisfy all those who are interested in my life (although I know it's not much coz I malas bit to write..hehe..forgive me)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Campus Election-The Beginning

Life for me has taken a new turn, a shift in current if I may put so. As promise to those who constant visit my blog, now is the story I want to update all. My blog has come to a stand still for a very long time ever since I started preparing my campaign for campus election. With the last few weeks of study towards final exam, it was really a big challenge for all candidates. Although it has been a year of waiting for me, the rush of feeling did not really hit me till nomination day.
It was beyond what I can write down but I’ll try my best to do so.
The heat of campus election was felt ever since nomination day because that is when all candidates knew who their opponents were and what kind of challenges were they against. For me, the whole thing was surreal as I worried about my term as MPP since last year when ‘something’ or ‘someone’ hindered my progress. Thinking about the whole experience, I guess I may only summarise as God is looking after me. Why you might ask? Read on and you will understand.
When I was in 2nd year of studies, I had the intention to contest as candidate for Kawasan Fakulti (Faculty Seat). However, under certain circumstances and the influence of certain individual which I don’t plan to reveal here, the plan was scrap and I was told to wait another year. After waiting and some small plans, I reach my 3rd year and was partially prepared for contesting. Although I’m a ‘blue’ candidate, I told myself to not be over confident as that is the main factor that would lead to my doom. Therefore, after praying that the merciful Lord is with me, I went ahead with my plans together with my Wakil Calon who I really appreciate their effort. They were so great people, helping out in every way possible. Sometimes they can’t be with me but they were really supportive.
During nominations day itself, I faced my first challenge. The ‘opposition’ candidate brought up the issue of 16 candidates who would take office if successful and had lest than a term (1 year) to fulfill the requirements as stated in AUKU. At that moment, I was tensed as that requirement includes me. The election committee decided to put hold all campaigning. The next day when the go ahead was given to campaign, mine started late as a result my manifesto that is suppose to be given out to students isn’t ready. By the time I manage to get mine done, it was about 11am already.
Those few days of campaigning was really hectic, running to as many places as possible to fish for votes and to convince others that I’m the most qualified candidate. I slept for only about 4 till 5 hours a day, not attending lectures and forgetting the rest of things in the world. I guess if given another chance, I don’t think I would want to do it again =p Anyway, the day for counting votes came and it was suppose to happen on 2 October 2007. The counting itself took a very short time and it was tiring as the candidates had to travel to balloting centers to ‘smile’ with our possible voters. It may sound kind of fake but politicians are like that (in my opinion). It’s impossible to know each and everyone in campus but I believe as long as I’m doing it with sincerity, may God judge me.
The next tense moment for me was the counting of ballots. My wakil calons and me running practically to every station to make sure that ballots are counted with utmost transparency and trying to salvage as many ballots as possible that were deem ‘spoiled’ or ‘questionable’. To cut a long story short, I was so shock when the official results were announced. I was only hoping to qualify for the top 9 highest votes to secure a place as a MPP but never in my mind did it occur that I actually manage to secure the HIGHEST votes with 5441 (hope I remembered correctly..hehe). I was so elated that I was speechless and don’t know how to react. Somehow, that made every sorrow and suffering seems worth it at long last. Being a MPP was a personal achievement for me in campus other than the other stuff that I’ve done. This sweet victory kind of completed my cycle as an undergraduate.

To be continued….

Monday, November 12, 2007

The 'War' Has Begun

Which war you might be thingking eh?? It's the normal war that every student has to go through lah...semester final exams.
Mine just continued again after a break of about 11 days from my first paper on 1st November. Today went in to Bangunan Peperiksaan for my secound round, although I didn't turn out being 'bash' badly but I was wounded..thinking that it would be easier since everyone said it's a 'A' paper..mana tau I kena tipu in first question..The calculation to count fertility was so damn long that it took almost one hour and I only had another hour to settle another two questions...haih...What 'good' time management I have??

Although I manage to finish the paper but I wasn't satified at all since I normally have time to at least read through again once. This time i barely had time to finish it. Was still struggling to write after annoucement that students are required to stop writing--I was still frantically writing cakar ayam in my answer paper..Hopefully got 'A' la...Hmm...

Friday, November 9, 2007

"Makan Buku"

It's the time again to whack my head with literally tonnes of knowledge which I'm not sure what benefit would it bring me one day...But for the sake of exams, I've no choice but to cramp everything into my brain which God has so graciously given..Otherwise, I'll be a dumbo without one..Imagine having a body but without a brain..memang bodoh!!

Well, I've another three more days to go but it's pack with 5 papers which are back to back. Not a single day for me to rest and take a breath. Good in a way that it shall be over soon but scary in way coz I'm afraid that I would enter the exam hall with an empty brain..Biasakan, after reading one week straight with some fun time in between, the brain might just decide to malfunction when you need it the most..=p

Most of my papers are memory based, have to memorise the facts and figure to answer..not much calculation this time. Hopefully I won't jumble up the subjects like mee mamak goreng..aih

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Facing Exam Blues

First time dropping into the UM library in this semester to study as certain incidents has lead me to believe that college isn't suitable for doing my revision especially with my first paper coming this Thursday.

My personal life came under attack by certain people in my residential college. Being more personal relationship with my girlfriend. Things hasn't been all nice and beautiful all this time but we still manage to overcome it in our own ways; although her (my gf) friends doesn't 'approve' it. But then again, who's the one having the problem and facing the problem??
I understand their good intention but when you don't know the exact scenario and 'delicate' problem we are going through..just shut your big fat mouth and let we do it our way..

With them around kepo-ing , it just make things worsen as my gf gets confuse on how and what she should do. With all these 'counsellors' around giving all the b*llsh*t advices when they don't know at all about our own affairs. And last night, things just got out of hand when they try to interfere..Dah lah nak exam and bug by relationship problem, having these 'pest' around make me more fire and frustrated to blow off..Didn't even realise that I broke the glass pane in my rage.

My life in campus has taken a change since the last few weeks..(I shall write about it after my exams as promies)..Sometimes, as I told my gf while sharing with her, i just got no time for b*llsh*t anymore..I need to get things done in the shortest and most efffective manner because there's just so many things on my mind that needs to be done.

Arrrgghhh...God!! I'm so sorry for forsaking you in my busy-ness..I pray you grant me the strenght and courage and faith in YOU which is everlasting to see me through as I know YOU would. Pray that my relationship with my love one may be patch up too in our own unique ways.
Thank you...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Power of Prayer

I was just reading through my ‘Our Daily Bread’ again this morning after my English class. Although wanted to do my quiet time before class but I always find it a problem for me to wake up earlier to do it as I sleep quiet late every night.
Anyway, I was reading through Mark 11:20-26 where Jesus was saying that prayer is able to move mountains as long as the person who is praying believes in it. However, this saying has inner meaning/conditions which are:-
• you must be a believer
• you must hold not hold a grudge against another person
• you must not pray with selfish motives
• your request must be for the good of God’s kingdom
and the most important factor is to have faith that God will answer the prayer in His time.

I like the ending sentence especially which I would like to share with all. It goes like this ‘Life is not always fair, but God is always faithful’. This sentence meant very much to me as I grow more matured and enter the ‘world’, I realize that inequality exist in many places and hampers peace as there would be unhappy groups. However, we need to deal with the situation, learning to balance and influence parts we are able to while learning to adapt into situations we can’t change. Learning to adhere and hold on to our faith even when the world goes around us should be the attitude.

Lately, I realize my temper and mood seems to be worst than a lady having period pain. I’m not sure what is the reason, could it be due to confusion in my own life that leads to this or I’m not taking care of my personal life and not ‘feeding’ my spiritual life that my emotions are taking control. Relationship among friends and close ones are not doing too well as I lose my temper quite easily these days. I think I know certain areas which I should be taking care of before it worsens.

With something major coming to my part of life soon, I pray that God will remain close with me or should I put it as I pray that I’ll remain close with Him as most of the time, we are the ones that choose to abandon God but come running to Him when problems arise. May God’s presence strengthen me as I walk this path in life. Amen

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Sayonara Ms. Yong

Just had sort of a farewell lunch for one of my lecturers this evening at Zen Cafe, Midvalley. Ms. Yong who taught me Malaysian Economics last semester would be leaving the campus and faculty to further her studies in Leicaster,UK. Flying away next week, another favourite lecturer of us decided to call a lunch...
Although Ms. Yong is leaving the faculty, I believe all students who have been taught by her would remember this kind hearted lecturer who is always there to guide and help students even though at times, I think they should not be. However, I think that is her nature of an educator..believing in others!!

Well, the other lecturer (Ms. Tan) would be leaving us soon also as she too would be furthering her studies for a doctorate like Ms. Yong. But before that, she's going to get married first..haha..
Two more wonderful educators leaving the faculty..I wonder who is going to replace them or it may not even happen since UM doesn't seem to attract good lecturers anymore (hope my sarcastic view is wrong for the sake of all undergraduates)

Monday, September 3, 2007

Wisdom Tooth..AUggh!!

Wisdom tooth..It’s really ‘wise’ to have this teeth protruding at an age when you seldom go and visit your dentist. Come to think of it, I wonder if that’s why God decided that this tooth should only appear at a ripe age =p

After finding out from my dentist, I realized these four individual tooth (2 above & 2 below) don’t play a role in your mouth as they are way back in your mouth that they really have a purpose of ‘survival’—that’s why it’s very normal to ‘kill’ them by extraction if it’s causing problem.

Anyway, I had my minor surgery done on 23 August 2007 (coz my dad happens to be going to the dentist too). The dental surgeon took really good care of me, giving me ‘laughing gas’ to suppress the pain which would coming forth. During the whole process, I did not have the guts to open my eyes as I feel uneasy with all those gadgets entering my mouth. Nevertheless, the extraction went on well and to my surprise, without much feeling of pain.

It’s been quite sometime now since I had my extraction. My gum is still sensitive to cold drinks whenever I take it. But I’m thankful that I’m able to take solid food few days after it. Before this, all the ‘horror’ stories that I heard of really scared me awhile..hehe

Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday Macroeconomic Lecture

It's another early morning for me since the beginning of the semester in July. Friday is dreadful for me in a sense that I've macroeconomics class. This subject has been my weakest in all my economics paper since the time I was introduce into the world of economics. It's not that this paper isn't interesting or what but somehow or rather I can't seem to grasp the concept even after discussion with others. And to make things worse, lecturer is not helping either. He just come into the class without a clear pro-forma of the course and teaches anything that comes into his mind, drawing the whole board for two hours and saying "Aiya, itu you pun tak tau. I nak tumbang!" Translated it means (in Malaysian English); Aiya, like that also you don't know. I want faint!

No proper references are given and no notes for the diagram given to ease our understanding. I wonder is this the local teaching system or is it universal in other universities e.g. Harvard, Oxford etc
I mean how to they (lecturers) expect you to listen and copy the notes all in the same time especially when the talking is done in a fast manner. We are not computers where you can run few programmes simultaneously..Hey man, I'm just a mere human!!
Therefore at times, I think as a student, what can I do?

Since I've no chance to change the system as it's out of my circle of influence, so I guess I'll have to do the 'normal' stuff which is just work hard and study hard by reading on my own while hope that I really understand what I'm reading.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Why My University standard is dropping?

My university was and I believe is still the best university locally as there are still so many students who are just waiting eagerly to enter for their tertiary education. The ranking issue that was brought up during the last two years by Times Higher Education isn’t a big issue; in fact it shouldn’t be an issue anyway. Why is the University administration trying to protect itself and coming up excuses like their survey was bias and not fair. We should be confident with our standard, such as producing Leaders since 1905; which is the university’s tagline for the moment. As long as we know what kind of graduates we’re producing, why do we even care what others write?

If our graduates are still sought after upon graduation, I guess that would be the better guideline than what some ‘mat salleh’ talk and write about my university. SADLY, my university’s academic workforce is still not up for the challenge ahead. Forgive me, but I’m not generalizing again that all the Professors are un-qualified here, only certain of them and those who are still carrying the title of ‘Encik’.

I’m taking a subject now called Demography which is suppose to be an interesting subject to study and learn. However, after almost half a semester, I’m not too sure what I’m learning in class. It’s kind of repetitive and no new syllabus is introduced. Even tutorials are not held but he claims that it is. WHY?? Ironically, the answer given when students question whether tutorial is on, the lecturer would answer, ‘tutorial memang ada, pasti dating ya tapi saya tak datang!’—literally means tutorial is on, make sure you come but I won’t be there.

With this kind of lecturer’s attitude, no wonder our standard is dropping. You might say that this is an isolated case but I can assure you these is only one of the example I’m able to write because if I bad mouth too much, who’s going to employ me after I graduate later next year as they know what our true standard is. =p

Monday, August 13, 2007

Where are we heading after 50 years of LIBERTY??

Although we have been hearing this shouts of liberty for the last 50 years in our Malaysian life, since the life of my parents till my generation, every year when 30 August nears; there will be advertisement and politicians or historians talking about how their generation or our forefathers have fought for our independence. I know I didn't personally went through all these events in history but who say that you need to be there to really understand what is LIBERTY to citizens of Malaysia..

And this time it isn't far too different too as I start to see advertisement by Petronas and other corporate companies coming out with advertisement; then you have politicians coming out to discuss about Malay birth rights, whether Malaysia is a secular state or an Islamic state and other issues. I'm really sadden to hear when all these issues are brought forward. Knowing what the nation has been through, it makes me want to cry that we don't seem to be moving forward as a nation even though we have all these government programmes going on since after Independance 50 years ago.

As an economics undergraduate and going through all the reports and plans that the government have for us since Independance, I realise that many plans although sounds good and beneficial for the nation, I also realise that the graph is skewed towards a certain race. Even though the government denies it till the last breath and justify their actions are for the good of the nation, I wonder how come there exist certain clause that sides 'bumiputera' of the country, which are mostly Malays. Before continuing, I must rectify that my stand here is to clarify and not to stir up racial sentiments like many bloggers are accuse for when writing such stuff in their blog. How come Felda settlers are Malays and there's such thing as special Bumiputera right when buying houses and other related property? And in developing areas of the country, how come certain areas are given more emphasis then other places?
What I'm trying to project here is the thought that many forsakes or take for granted. I mean just an analogy, when talking about special rights- Is our government telling us that there's a different between a poor Malay citizen and a poor other race citizen? Another question that lingers in my mind, why should a Malay millionaire who buys property get the special benefits while an OTHER race labourer have to pay the full amount? I mean I don't need a university degree to tell me that there's something wrong in this picture right?

Talking about special rights of the Bumiputera.. I believe that since it's in the constitution and that was agreed like ages ago..Maybe..Just maybe we (the non Bumiputear) would not question it further but I believe that if the nation feels that a re-look into what our forefathers have agreed upon. I mean even the United States of America has adment their constitution a few times after the Revolution and when deem necessary by their leaders. Saying about racial intergration and cohesiveness among people of different origin is different between these two nations, I would put it as *crap& bull sh$t*-do forgive the language-the reason I say so is because the US is made up of many races too. You have the blacks, Hispanic, South Americans, Koreas, Japanese and many other smaller nations that have gone there. Don't get me wrong that I'm saying they are our role model; coz they have tonnes of their own problems too. The questions that lingers in my mind is this: Will a non-Bumiputera be the next Prime Minister when Malaysia goes into the next general election when BN will DEFINITELY win again? Will the next IGP/chief of military or whatever they call it as be a non-Bumiputera? Will Ram (not sure of his full name but he's the most senior sytem judge in Malaysia's court of Appeal; sorry Sir for forgetting your name and honourific) be the next President of the Appeal Court?

Questions like above at times make me think, will I ever have the opportunity of being the next Prime Minister of Malaysia in 30 years time? DEfinitely not, especially with our current state. Going back to what I was talking about the US, I mean with all their short comings and discrimination, at least Mr. Obama has a chance to the next US President, people like Rice and the previous chief of staff are held by non-Whites (which I personally equate with Bumiputeras here in Malaysia).

With all that is going in our country, I don't know what role could I play since I might join the statistics and be one of those who will immigrate out of this beloved land that I grew up to better pasture, somewhere my 'inteligence' and 'skills' are really appreciated..Just maybe..Coz who knows, maybe one day I might just wake up from bed and say 'To hell with all those politicians up there, why not I join the system to start some changes then just writing in this blog where people might or might not read and then forget' =p

Anyway, to those Bumi friends that I have in my residential college and University..If you happen to be reading this recent blog that I wrote, I hope that it would be taken in good faith and I don't mean to generalise that all Bumi's are 'bad'. I'm just being the realist that I am while trying to make this world the "ideal" place where when we shout 'Merdeka..merdeka..merdeka..' Those words will truly ring our patriotism that every Malaysians should have..No more such comments like 'Kenapa Cina macam tu? Kenapa u orang ni atau orang tu cakap macam tu?'

Lastly, I pray that God will continue to watch over us as a nation. New generations should be more incline towards national politics and care for the growth of Malaysia..
God bless MALAYSIA

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The NEW semester has started

New semester of 2007/2008 has begun, that means my life as an undergraduate has started off again. Have to re-adjust myself from the working lifestyle back to goodie boy who needs to attend lecturers and tutorial classes. It's not that I'm not used to study life, it's just the minor adjustment to the way things are being done. Back to worrying about some stuff that's being done in my residential college especially with all the new juniors that we are having. New people to handle and also to mould since we are considered 'seniors' or 'tai ko' of the college by now. After all, my batch of friends are the final year students already..

Although I manage to take 18 credit hours this semester but the papers doesn't seem to really attract me. Nevertheless, it has to be done and completed since it's compulsory anyway. Just finish all these papers wiht the hope that it'll somehow help me in the future. I'm quite skeptical on what I'm studying at the moment yet feeling that I'll be doing or creating something 'GREAT' one day after graduation. Having just the feeling isn't enough though; something tangible must come out from it otherwise the sense of insecurity will definitely continue to linger on.

Being final year means I better start planning about my future also (as graduation is also nearing). Many local undergraduates don't know what they want in life; including me! We're just going with the flow (as if that make any sense) and hoping that things will fall into place. There's this saying that goes "Failing to plan is planning to fail". How true is this saying that it sinks deep into my heart. I've got to really think and pray about it, maybe God will one day knock on my door and tell me, 'Hey my son, this is where your true passion lies.' and I really pray that day will come by soon.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Back in Kuantan

I'm back in Kuantan for three days (Saturday till Monday) since parents came back from China after honey mooning for two weeks..Also back to collect my souvenires also lah..haha
Well, mom manage to get me two shirts with Chinese motive and I really like it. But I thought China would be able to have more choices but surprisingly as according to mom, they don't have much choices or they design is very 'old fashioned' to her. Locally, those that I really like pula cost at least RM 100. Hopefully this material mom got would not be very hot as China made materials can be quite lousy-not with a discriminating note lah
Dad has his time happily on the golf course-his passion to be on the field. They have very beautiful golf courses there in China, maybe one day I'll play there also-need to polish my golfing skills before doing that though because it has been awhile since I last swing my club. Kind of regret for not appreciating my dad's effort to groom my golfing skills when I was young. Otherwise I'm able to play a good game by now.
Anyway, back to the story of China. I manage to see a few pictures they took and the scenary really looks good but my parents recommend not to go Beijing in future because there's not much to see and experience there. Better to travel to other cities in China where the cost of living is not that high too-worth it!!
Can't write real long this time also because have to prepare to travel back to KL soon and also need to continue with my assignment for VICHY too. Need to design a brand new innovative advertisement as we are lauching Bi-White Advanced Eye in July 2007 which is next month!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Feeling Cheated

Today was a raining morning and I had to drive my friend’s car to work to avoid being soak wet. My friend has flown to France for a study tour and her car is in my custody for a moment till she’s back.
The thing about not driving for awhile made me forget about the basic about driving ethics such as turn off the headlight after parking the car.
After a tiring day at work, thinking of heading straight home after more than 8 hours stuck in the office only to find out that the car’s battery is flat and I can start it at all. Before that I was wondering there was something wrong with the remote control since the car didn’t respond. I was even thinking that this Kancil somehow have a sort of high tech alarm system. Being able to open the car with my key even though it was lock before hand with the alarm, I was thinking somehow the car is program to not start even after being able to enter the car. But trying to be rational, I knew that a Kancil couldn’t be equip with such tech. Then only I realized that I left my head lights on.
So, I went around Uptown looking for a mechanic. At 730pm, I was doubting that there would be anyone who would be open but thank God, there was one shop nearby that was half open. So, I ask him to help me jump start my car and to my horror, just that few seconds of him connecting to my car’s battery would cost me RM10. Even though I’m not being a cheapskate but I felt that RM10 for that ‘help’ was a little costly. However the fact that I was a damsel in distress didn’t help the situation at all. So, I had no choice but to ‘kindly’ oblige to the payment.
He even told me that he normally charge RM20 for that short help. I wondering blo*dy H%ll, that is really costly.. But looking on another perspective, who ask me to be so careless in the first place, right!!
This would definitely be one of those moments where my dad used to say: “Son, there would be times where you pay to learn.” And this would definitely be one of those times. It’s not my first time paying to learn but I always thank God that my lessons do not cost me more than what I can afford. Thank you Lord for giving me enough even when the lesson is costly.. Amen!!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Sexual Desires

This morning after waking up on a Sunday morning, I felt lazy to attend church service even though I know it’s not a good thing by someone who ‘preaches’ to other Christian brothers and sisters to do so. Well, to compensate myself which serves as not a good excuse, I told myself to pick up the Bible and read it for at least one hour.
I started with reading Our Daily Bread (ODB) which is kind of a daily reading prepared by some really committed Christian who are there to help Christians like me to read a Bible passage each day with the guidance of ODB. Anyway, I began with yesterday (Saturday’s) passage as I didn’t read it. The passage was relevant to me as it was talking about how Solomon warns his son about the scorpion and fire that exist in the world together with all the other beautiful stuff such as roses, the sun rise, love etc. It’s a metaphor that projects that not all things are perfect caused by the deeds of men through sin. So it is with SEXUAL PLEASURE!!
Many young people (including me) of this new era take sex as something very pleasurable and as long as you love me and I love you or if the time and place is right then lets do it. I was brought up to believe that sex is a very sacred thing which has to be uphold no matter under what circumstances. Being a young men, facing the challenges of growing up in an urban city of KL, where girls are more ‘open minded’ or ‘loose’, keeping sex sacred seems like age old myth. The new term that my friends say is modern era already, keeping sex till marriage is old school; having a night of fun in a club where touchy touchy fingers roam the body is nothing because we are both just having fun. At times I feel so tempted to do the same also and there are times when I fail to uphold my beliefs with the thought of ‘since everyone is doing it, why can’t I?’ But every time that happens, a feeling of guilt builds up in me, some feelings that acknowledge that I’ve sin and betrayed what I tell others I believe.
God has intended intimate physical encounter to be between two people who are spending their entire life together, meaning through the holy matrimony of marriage. Sex especially should be kept and protected for the one you truly love and not just for lust. I know saying all these stuff is easy, the ‘protecting’ part of it that is tough especially when the smaller head is taking charge.
So, a few pointers that my dad and I have discuss before about this same topic, there are ways to ensure that we are able to hold on to what we believe in. Some practical ways are to keep the situation ‘safe’. What I mean is don’t let yourself in a situation where you are prone to commit what you know are wrong; keeping your conscious strong and awake and if there is a need to, run away (not literally) from it. Even God’s disciple-Joseph ran away when his master’s wife tried to seduce him. Let God reassure us that in every difficult situation, He is always there to provide a path to get out, no matter how narrow or small is the path. Secondly, which is the best I think is to dun even indulge in it. Meaning to say if you know that going clubbing will make you prone to run your fingers on ‘prohibited’ areas, then the best would be to abstain from it in the first place. The problem with many of us is that we ‘feel’ and notice that I use the word ‘feel’ because we don’t know for sure; we would be able to control ourselves. Few times have I visited club house and see all this girls getting drunk and drinking with so called friends who you just met like one hour ago or even lest and that person is giving you such a feel good time. Ohh..of course it’s a feel good time because that guy is going to have an even better time when he brings you back to bed. I feel pitiful for these girls because they are so lost in their world that they think sexual desires would be able to ease their suffering of the world.
Even though many in the world don’t believe that God does really exist, I must challenge your view that Christ is a gracious God who looks beyond your past history, whether you were a killer, a robber, a cheater, a liar or ‘small’ sins that we ourselves regards are forgivable sins, Christ whom has died for our sins (great or small) is able to forgive us for He is gracious and His love is everlasting. Through forgiveness, we would be able to stand tall even when the world doesn’t want us to.
1 Corinthians 10:12-13 says
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

Search out in me all hidden sin,
And may Thy purify within
So cleanse my life that it may be
A temple wholly fit for Thee.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

A week in L'Oreal

Wow..without noticing, I've been in L'Oreal Malaysia for 7 working days already. No wonder my boss tell me that my 8 weeks internship will be away in a blast as I'm already done with one week without 'really' noticing it..haha

So far, I've been moving around with my partner in crime-Adrian who is a management trainee in VICHY. Most of the time, he acts like my mini mentor other than boss to guide me around how things are done in the company. When visiting the outlets too, he explains how things are done and what can I learn from the whole process. I appreciate his effort because it helps me 'see' things that I take for granted. Just like what can arranging products of shelves in outlet teach me?? Adrian says that's part of merchandising and my thoughts start to open up on all the possibilities that I'm learning while doing it. The other day while I was talking to my dad, he too told me that in everything that I do for this two months, it'll somehow affect my experience and perseption on things in life. My boss also said that even though I've been given respondsibilities, I'm given handicap too to make mistakes, after all, I'm still an intern ma..haha..(but I guess that can't be use as an excuse to fumble and screw things up ya..)

I'm enjoying the process so far as VICHY is still new in the Malaysian market as the brand is tailored towards derma cosmetic which is different from normal derma products. It concentrates on inperfect skin rather than acne skin. So, the range and ingredients used is different. I'm currently trying out the products and would need to pass up a report or feedback or so on the effectiveness and my comments on it. So far, I'm quite satisfied with it but pricing is a little high la (in my opinion). But on the other hand, I guess you pay for quality of the products also.

Promotion in One Utama just ended, although it's not as grand as the one in Midvalley few months ago but it's still something to booze the brand la I think..I mean, my manager won't simply waste money on promotion like this because it's not cheap..

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Identity Crisis

I’m back in sweet quiet hometown of Kuantan. To be honest, with my background, I’m not even sure where my hometown is as I’ve been moving to places since I can remember. Let me take you on a trip of my life for the past 22 years.
I was born in another small town, Alor Setar in Kedah as that time my dad was a flying instructor based in the flying school there. I think after about one year plus, my dad was transferred to Kuantan, Pahang (which is the place I’m currently backed in). Therefore, I don’t have much of memories in Alor Setar. To keep a long story short, my family practically move to Kuala Lumpur – Kuantan again – Penang – Kuala Lumpur – Kuantan. Hmmm..with all those moving around, I’m really confuse of where I’m from. Geographically and family ties speaking, I’m from Kuantan as there is where both my parents are from, while on the other hand, I consider myself a Penangite as my youth, fond memories, close friends are all from there. Then on the next hand, biological and officially, I’m a Kedahan as that is the state where I was born. Look into my birth certificate, there it is-02 which is the state code for Kedah. BUT, I remember nuts about it..I’m really a guy with identity crisis, at least from the point of view of where I come from. Kinda hate it when people ask me this question, makes me wonder where do I belong.
Anyway, back to what I intend to write today. It’s actually my last day at home as I’ll be returning to KL by tomorrow because I shall start working in L’Oreal on Thursday. It’s my industrial training for 8 weeks as a part of my curriculum requirement. These 8 weeks will pass by real quick although the first few weeks would not be so. Before I know what hit me, I would be back in uni again, preparing to ‘suffer’ my last year in University Malaya. Three years in university passes by like lightning. I still remember vividly when I first entered UM, time seems to pass by at a slower pace then suddenly second year came and Whoa..I’m already entering 3rd and final year..
Crazy yet so true, three years is nothing if you didn’t really plan what do you want to achieve within this time frame. I mean I thought I knew what I wanted but after two years, it came to my realization that I failed to plan. There’s this saying that goes ‘failing to plan is planning to fail’.
It took me two years in uni to realize this mistake and that suddenly gave me ‘bang’ on the head as I woke up to reality. Too late as some would say but looking on the positive side, I guess I should thank Lord that I realize it before graduating. At least I still have time to rectify what I can.
Coming home has its positive side too. It’s always a bonding time for me and dad also. There’s always something to learn when I’m back, from the discussions that I have with my dad, talking about stuff from studies to politics and national issues. My dad’s view on most topics would shed light and open my thoughts to something fresh, point of view that I’ve never thought about. Really glad that my dad is someone whom I can count on. Although I have my share of scolding and spanking from him too..hehe..It all comes in a bundle I guess.
Hmm..blogging has been something new to me. Don’t really right about my feeling but it’s more about what I learn and would like to share with the world outside. Blogging is still kind of private to me but maybe hearing and reading some comments on what I wrote would be nice. So if you happen to read this, why not just drop me some comments on what I wrote, think or have to say..Greatly appreciated!!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Egg-Jam Season

It’s the time of the semester again where students start to freak out by asking about tips and notes or photostat tutorials that never have been touch in their whole 4months of university life…Anyone who says he or she has notes will be hump upon by dozens of ‘vultures’ in the form of homo sapiens to gain the ‘eye’ to success..
It’s a wonder at times how we students actually study last minute and burn the midnight oil in the wee hours, going to the exam hall feeling so burn out and at times even blank in the brain for the examination then come out regretting “Oh why didn’t I start earlier?; OMG, why didn’t I read that chapter; the worst scenario, with all the expression of vulgarism—WTF, that lecturer is trying to kill us is it? So d*amn tough la..die la die la…” And you know what’s the ironic part (only for certain people lah), after all the ‘die la die la’ shouting, they somehow come out with an ‘A’..That would be the time I would say WTF too coz I only manage to score a ‘B’ or something lest while s/he got an ‘A’ when s/he said that this time ‘die la die la’..(forgive the language eh..hehe)
I’m stuck in an air condition room now trying to study 2 subjects for tomorrow but I have to admit that I’m moving quite slow or maybe very slow as focus isn’t there..I mean I should be studying now but what am I doing pula…Blogging!!
Ok lah, I guess it’s time to get back to study after taking my dinner. Somehow or rather, I need to settle both subjects within these last few hours before taking a dive into my bed. Tomorrow’s paper starts at 8.30am then continue with 11.30am…Arrgghh!!!! This time also DIE la..haha
My parents better not be reading thins otherwise I’ll kena a real good round from them especially from my daddy..Can’t blame him for that though, it’s my fault anyway for not playing my role as a student..

Friday, April 20, 2007

It's another Exam day..

Just came back from my fouth paper this evening which is macroeconomics 2 and I'm shaking my head yet again for another macro paper. I've never been doing good in macroeconomics even though I'm a economics undergrad, sometimes it's a shame to say that coz this paper should be something I score in other than the rest. What makes me feel even worse is that the questions are from past year ne..aih..Went into the hall feeling I should be able to answer fairly, not even good but it turn out that I only manage to do below average coz my mind went blank after reading the question. I thought I know how to do it but it turn out ohtherwise. Haih...
Point to be taken for those entering public universities or UM or maybe I should say my faculty-Faculty of Economics and Administration, doing your tutorials and past years is a MUST understand coz many times questions in finals are either identical or very similar with what is being ask in finals. It took me four semesters to realise it, or I was just so oblivious to that fact, being stupid, childish (thinking can score without reading), arrogant at times (thought I'm smart but actually not). I guess the attitute that I'm bringing isn't serving me well.
Going to be a third year student beginning next semester, I really pray and hope that God will give me a 'smack' on the face, telling me to wise up and mature before my dad does it!!! I really feel bad whenever I think about how my performance reflect the hopes of my parents even though they don't really mention coz it's their way of bringing us (their children) up..My dad thinks that a young adult like me should be able to think for himself and only be given advices when necessary. I believe many of my peers would envy that kind of up bringing that my parents show but somehow at times, even though I admit that I might not like it, I feel my parents 'should' have pointed their fingers saying. "Young man, do you know blah blah good for you and this is the best way to ensure a good future!!" So ironic yet so true...
My head is feeling really heavy now after finishing 4 papers in three days consecutively..Maybe I should take a rest or maybe sleep earlier tonight to recover..Even though it's kind of late to complain and regret, may I REALLY take this as a new starting point for my view for a better study attitute as I've been saying those same words for 4 semester already..Procrastination really 'kills' human..Arrgghh!!!!!
Better get back to studies and prepare for the last two papers..Chiao!!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Good Services by MAXIS

It's been really a long time since I last visited my own blog and wrote something. Even though I'm in the midst of preparing for my final exams this semester, but I just felt that I needed to write something here even though it seems not appropriate...

I receive this call from Nicole, the operator or the service officer from Maxis regarding my complain of campus zone. It has been awhile since my campus zone services has been 'halt' due to reasons that I don't know. As this was the second time I wrote in, the letter was kinda sarcastic and harsch in a way because I was fed up, and I wanted to exercise my consumer rights which many Malaysians tend to forget about. So, Nicole explain that Maxis have taken the necessary steps to rectify my problem and besides that, a reinbustment of RM 10 would be credited to my account within 7 days of working period. I was kind of surprise that this time they seem more effecient in settling my qualms..Therefore, it earn them a post here in my blog..
Kudos to Maxis..But i'm still keeping my Digi line..haha

Well, I guess it's time for me to return to my 'official' work as an undergraduate now. See ya and Dwagie, if you're reading this, all the best in your upcoming exam too ya!! Love ya!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Kudos to FEA Com Lab..Acah la!!

Well, it’s another day spent in the computer lab of my lovely faculty, FEA!!

But nowadays, the FEA computer lab has been given a face lift as they just introduce a computer system to check our matrix card. Only valid students of the faculty would be given entrance. However, as smart as almost all Malaysian projects seems to have, they somehow forgotten an important issue which is you need to notify all students first of the future changes. How could they implement a new system without letting us know, at least a week’s notice would be fine..

It’s so ironic that you can only register yourself inside the computer lab while at the same time, not having the access into the room itself. But as always, Malaysians would find a way to pass through the system and I got my card registered. Kinda annoying don’t you think!! But I must congratulate the faculty for spending money or should I say investing into something worth it…Kudos!!

Saturday, March 24, 2007


It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers.For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses. The water treatment had been found successful by aJapanese medical society as a hundred percent cure for the following diseases:
* Headache * Body ache
* arthritis * fast heart beat
* epilepsy * excess fatness
* bronchitis * asthma* TB
* Meningitis * Kidney and Urine diseases
* vomiting gastritis * diarrhea
* piles * diabetes
* constipation * all eye diseases
* womb cancer * menstrual disorders
* ear nose * throat diseases

1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink four glasses of water each of 160 ml.
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes.
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for two hours.
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink four glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to four glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure main diseases:
1. High Blood Pressure 30 days
2. Gastric 10 days
3. Diabetes 30 days
4. Constipation 10 days
5. Cancer 180 days
6. TB 90 days

Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment for only 3 days in the first week to be followed by daily treatment. This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.

Good Health to you all.......

Friday, March 23, 2007

Appreciation Night 2007

As the title shows, Appreciation Night 2007 or AP Night 2007 was a night my friends and I organise last week for AIESEC in University Malaya. This blog is dedicated to all the weaknesses and improvement, not to forget the short comings of the event to remind myself and if you think that you can benefit from what I've got to say, then do read on...

As before the start of the event, our organising committee (OC) has make the GREATEST mistake in making a wrong decision which is estimating wrongly the number of guest. We should have gone through previous records or find out past year's attendance number which is the most crucial info especially in an event where you require guest who pays to be there. We only realise this mistake after we've confirm everything from venue and prices. I guess if we were on 'The Apprentice', Donald Trump would have fired the Project Manager for overlooking this crucial info. Another mistake was being over confident is away..The OC's which included me were so sure that we are making a night for all to remember because we had gotten great sponsors and I really do mean great sponsors as the ticket was beautiful, door gifts were fantastic (V-Soy, Drinks from Nescafe, voucher from DIGI&Domino Pizza, Cash voucher from a spa shop, even the bag itself was sponsored)..talking about sponsorship, our weakness was we didn't manage to obtain sponsors in cash which is crucial to an event. But to re-affirm, I believe in the time frame given, we did 'hell' of a job (maybe not me, the other OCs) in organising a night within one month; another weakness to mention, the OCs should have been formed earlier, at least 3months grace period if you expect something of standard. This scenario isn't something new in LCUM I guess since all application for Organising Committee President is always

Moving on to the day but before the event, caution to all future projects, when it's already on the crucial day, make sure you are not late and don't delay your rehearsal as that is already a last minute thingy..anything delayed will eventually invite disaster. As the saying goes: If you fail to prepare, you're preparing to fail.. So as you would have guess, we did not manage to perform a full rehearsal which lead to a hysterical event flow, changing as we seem fit..

Since we did not perform our rehearsal in time, not forgetting not having sufficient time to change into our pretty and smart outlook, we ended late in receiving the arrival of our guest of honour which is like the BIGGEST mistake that day. Without many of the OCs knowing who he his, only I have seen him..He actually walked into the ballroom without anyone's notice..How embarassing!! Note to all future organisers, you (as in the President, protocol director and few 'big shots' of the organisation0 should know exactly who are you waiting for and at least be there waiting for him/her half an hour earlier before the said time and not forgetting, obtain his/her contact number in case s/he doesn't turn up.

For the performances, I would suggest if possible that you at least know exactly what their quality is like, especially if they happen just to be a friend's friend, if you know what I mean. Please don't mis-quote me though, I mean I appreciate what my friend did as it wasn't an easy task of getting your friends to perform for FREE!! However, sometimes you just need to be 'hard' and insist that you at least see their performance to know whether they are actually up to it. My case happen like this..The group was suppose to perform a gig but it turn out that it was his first public performance which is fine with me but the thing is he got so freak out and forgotten his totally gone!! As partially being in-charge for the event flow, I was shock to say the least. Their performance really made our guest felt uneasy and some were seen leaving to get a breath..However, the second performance which we have seen before was a blast as they manage to bring the crowd attention back. Thank God for that!! The MC for the night was also superb as she was easy to work with and she really brought 'life' back into the crowd. So, although I can say MC isn't the sole factor but it definitely is worth searching for a suitable candidates...

Well, as all not so good event goes..The most important part is the END because if your guest are able to leave with at least a smile on their face and had a good time, I guess in a way you can say that it was acceptable, not perfect but at least not a disaster. Solution is to know who are your crowd and what's their preference. We were lucky that AIESECers loves dancing especially square dances, so the solution was to play square dances and they naturally blend into the atmosphere..In a way, it somehow end well.. far I guess these are a few points that I can think of. If there is any comment or you somehow have experiences you would like to share, do comment here in my blog..

Will drop some thoughts here again when it's possible. Got to head back to my literature reviews now. 20 of it..Really a bummer!!!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Rainy day in FEA

It's another rainy day yet again in KL, just finish my lecture on Malaysia's economy and as I walk out of my lecture hall, to my horror, it was raining already. So, the next best thing to do is to head towards my computer lab which is open till 9pm..I guess this is one of the good things that my faculty provides for its students. Otherwise I think I'll just have to hang around till the rain stops.
Anyway, I owe you Dwagie if you're reading this post as it's been a long time since I last wrote something. Can you believe it that's it has been a month ago since I last visited my own blog. Hmm..I guess I'm not really a "true" blogger who can seem to not eat and sleep throughout the night just to make sure the blog has been updated eh...
Well, just for your perusal-this sentence is always being use by one of my lecturer who I respect a lot when she mails out lecture notes or tutorials to all of us..Anyway, back to my story..I just organise Appreciation Night 2007 for AIESEC in University Malaya which was a success in it's own way, I mean, let's just put it this way, I believe all projects have its glitches and also glory..Although I can shout to the top of my lungs that I went 100% smooth but I personally felt that it was above average la..Embarrassing moment of the day was when our guest of honour arrived without our knowledge..I guess an event can't start up more screwed up than what we did..haih
Thank God, he was kind enough to be patient and did not blare up his temper and storm out of the event. That would be even more embarrassing!!!

Switching to other matters take took place since my last post, my birthday went pass on the 28th of February, making me officially older than my peers, not to mention looking forward to the general elections which everyone is predicting about..haha..I wonder how does it feel since you get a say in who wins a seat..Maybe all citizens should think more deeply before crossing the ballot since that decision would last for 5 years. Putting an idiot or a mediocre up in a seat without doing the talk s/he promise would definitely 'hamper' the progress that all Malaysians need. I'm not sure where is our country heading even though the leadership of Pak Lah is believe to be good but I guess only time can proof everything. He doesn't really stands out to be a leader such as Tun M but I still believe that he has his own way to play his cards..Hopefully, all the negative-ness from our last leadership era can and will be cleared off, otherwise I'm quite skeptical if we as a country can progress...
Somehow I feel that our country and citizens mentality is deteriorating, somehow I feel that we are heading back to pre-Independance rather than Vision 2020 as racial differences seem to re-surface..It just reminded me of a forum a had the other day with few 'distinguish' figure in Malaysia. One speaker even mention that non Bumiputera should 'jangan-lah diberi betis dan paha, nak-kan perut kami pula' when we were discussing about national growth, equity sharing and ASLI report. He also added that 'jangan-lah sampai May 13 berlaku sekali lagi' which my friends and I find it so provocative and not needed especially in a forum where we undergraduates of University Malaya try to promote understanding and Bangsa Malaysia spirit...
I guess I shall stop for now and continue some other days on what I think..Hopefully this blog will help polish my writing skills and also projection of thoughts as I think about what is happening in this world we 'THINK" we know so well..Shalom

Monday, February 19, 2007

2nd Day of CNY

It’s the second day of Chinese New Year and wakey up to listen to New Year song. Just felt that I need to put something on my blog, otherwise like something not right..haha..
Well, this year’s CNY is celebrated quite mild in my family as grandma pass away last year, so many relatives are not back this time around as most of them are either out of state or overseas. Nevertheless, as Chinese, my family still have reunion dinner although it is not like years ago where the atmosphere is noisy and filled with laughter and ‘noises’ of humans!!!!

Well, CNY wouldn’t be the same in the Limies family again..I guess will need to wait till my sisters and me get married, have a few little tots running around before the atmosphere would be back to ‘normal’…hehehe…

Oh ya, I believe this is the first year too that my family took so many family pictures. So I decided to upload one here to be shared with all..Happy Chinese New Year!! Oink Oink!!
(>’_”_“<) (>”_”_’<)
(“((oo))”) (“((oo))”)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Ang Pow na lai oh..(literally means give me Ang Pow (*_8)

Well, it’s that time of the year again where each member of the family gets busy cleaning the house, the older people of the family gets busy with cooking and preparing for the Reunion Dinner which happens on the eve of Chinese New Year!! For those who don’t know the Chinese culture, Reunion Dinner is when all the family members of the man side gather back in their parent’s house (normally la) to have a family dinner as every one in the family should be back, although in this modern world, sometimes it’s not 100% possible as the sons might be working overseas. Daughters on the other hand, will gather in their in-law house to celebrate and traditionally will only return to their own birth family on the second day of new year..Of course, what I write is the traditional practice. However in the era of modernization, not all are practice that way. Chinese New Year is also the festive season where ‘Ang Pow’ or red packet is given out to those children and unmarried individuals..Ang Pow is much awaited as it contains MoNEY MoNEY MoNEY..hahaha…
Talking about money, I’m remember the song used in The Apprentice, famed by Donald J.Trump..The theme song starts of with ‘money’..very catchy..

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Chinese New Year

Whoa..chinese new year coming around the corner again. With all the busy-ness and merry making to usher the new lunar year. CNY should be the most anticipated festival by the chinese community here in Malaysia and around the world as the not married singles get to collect 'ang pow' which is red packet with money in it...If i'm not mistaken, the red packet signifies prosperity (i guess)..Shame of me to not know my own culture well enough to share here..Paiseh!!

Well, my elder sis is back from Brunei where she has been working for the past two years. Not really into her working there for too long a duration as they don't pay her too well and with all the hassle, I doubt she really benefit from working abroad in that sense.. Anyway, it's her life and I can't say much as that wouldn't be too nice though..

WEll, wish everyone a blessed Chinese New Year!!!
Xing Nian Kuai Le...

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

L'Oreal: Here I come!

Good morning to each and everyone who is reading my blog..Got a wonderful news to share with all, although it’s not really new as it is a Friday news but here it is anyway.
I’ve been confirm and accepted to do my Industrial Training with L’Oreal Malaysia. The interview session wasn’t as easy as I thought. Twice I went there to be interviewed by different managers, both were very nice people, very sincere in interviewing the candidate (which is me!!) Twice the session lasted an hour and I’ve never experience an interview that long..Phew!!
Anyway, I’ll be working under a brand called VICHY. Maybe some of the girls will know about this brand as it’s still new in the market. Design specially for skin care purposes. Can’t say I know much about it now but I’m sure give me a week or two, I can talk about it for long hours..hehe..Then you’ll wish that I’ll stop..

Monday, February 12, 2007

The Guardian’s been a few days since I was back but it seems that I’m not very productive every time I’m back. It’s not like I don’t like to be back home but somehow when I’m back, the attitude of striving to study hard and concentrate is harder as there are more temptation in the house. For one thing, the DVD is already killing me because I seem to be catching up on all the pass movies which I did not watch.

Anyway, just to share on this movie I’ve just watch-The Guardian. Basically, the movie is about US Coast Guard where the star, named Ben Randall is like a legend in USCG as he has saved many lives during his service. However, fate took a twist when during one of his saving expedition in sea, his whole crew was sacrifice caused by mishap. Although movie critics said it wasn’t a good movie, I personally felt that it was a meaningful especially one part when the Captain of the school said, ‘once accepted as a Rescuer in the United States Coast Guard, you live a life with mediocre pay but an opportunity to save life!’
That sentence brought meaning to me as I admire their attitude towards work. Focusing on duties and honour rather than how much is the salary or what are the pecks that I’ll be getting.

May everyone in this world have that kind of attitude when serving in their respective profession. I believe there is no such thing as the most prestigious job or the most respected position, as long as everyone play their role in this society and not be too calculative, maybe one day, each person would learned that there is a role for everyone to play in a community, whether it’s to clean up the rubbish of others, washing the cars of others, planning a new township, making policies for the nation or leading the people towards a better future. Each has a part to play in order that a body can function properly.
Imagine one day if your anus decided to not work..fooyoh..I guess it’s really ‘shit’ literally =p


Monday, February 5, 2007

Mid Sem Exams..Arrggh

Here I am after tutorials again..good paper as It's about learning on SQL, something that I've not heard of till I took this course. It's kinda normal for us to online after class as the computer services in this lab is faster compared to the normal computer lab.
Anyway, tommorrow having a major mid semester exam in Macro-economics, weight is 40% out of the whole paper..tense and stress as I didn't do well in the last basic paper..really 'pek chek' at the moment. Gotta rush back to hostel after this to study again, crush back on notes, trying to munch on everything...Arrggh, student life...

Hmm..tonight have to 'show face' and support our neighbouring hostel as they will be organising their chinese cultural night. Maybe just drop by to make sure they know i'm there then can go back to study again...

Friday, February 2, 2007

White Lies, Hard Truth

Just an article I would like to share with all...DO spend some time on it...

White Lies, Hard Truths
by Donald W. McCullough

Verna claims that I said her baby was ugly. I can't imagine being that insensitive, but it was a long time ago and my memory isn't exact in these matters. I do recall Verna holding up her new-born and saying, "Isn't she cute?" And I, seeing a splotchy, scrunched little face and being committed to complete honesty, must have said something like, "Well, she really is ... a baby". Or maybe, "It takes an infant a few months before she can really be considered cute" Or I suppose there is a teensy-weensy possibility I said, "Strictly speaking, she's kind of ugly at the moment but will undoubtedly become a ravishing beauty."
Nearly 30 years have passed, but whenever I run into Verna she reminds me that I called her baby ugly. I don't know her daughter; for all I know she became Miss Universe, or perhaps my words lodged in her tiny subconscious and she has spent the last 15 years in psychoanalysis working to overcome low self-esteem. In any event, I now wish I had lied. It would have saved all of us a lot of grief.
Occasionally, courtesy calls for a lie. Let me stress that I'm talking about white lies, not black or gray or even off-white lies. Snow-white lies. Even so, I realize I've launched into very dangerous waters, with rocks and rip tides of tough ethical questions all around.
It's difficult to talk about the importance of lying when lying is so endemic in our society. Politicians lie to get elected, doctors lie on Medicare reports, universities lie about athletes, advertisers lie to sell products, ordinary citizens lie on income tax returns, and yes, even preachers lie. In the words of a Time magazine essay, ours is "a huckstering, show-bizzy world, jangling with hype, hullabaloo, hooey, bull, baloney, and bamboozlement." We live in a market-driven society, and to make the sale--whether it be of a car or a candidate or a can of beer--the truth gets pulled and stretched past anything resembling reality.
And yet, strangely, we also live in a tell-all culture. We have elevated the personal confession to an art form: supermodels confess insecurity about their bodies, movie stars confess shyness, politicians confess frustration, and preachers confess sexual indiscretions. It's the Alcoholics Anonymous approach run amok: "Hi, my name is Bill, and I'm a recovering alcoholic/gambler/overeater/sex addict/couch potato." I have nothing against AA, mind you. The Twelve-Step program provides an excellent way to overcome a variety of addictions. But there is a time and place for psychological stripping; call me uptight and closed-down, but I don't think it should be in front of just anyone who will listen, not to mention on national television or in supermarket magazines.
This sharing, unfortunately, has a way of spreading outward toward others, as if my openness gives me the right to pull you out of whatever closet you are in. It's the aren't-you-glad-we're-so-psychologically-mature-that-we-can-be-completely-honest manner of relating to others: "Theresa, really, you have too much of an inferiority complex about your figure; it's not as bad as you think." We did the same thing in junior high school, but now that we're more mature we practice psychobabble hit-and-run as we sit in the hot tub and sip chardonnay. Frankly, I would just as soon go back to the good old days when a put-down was a put-down.
How can we speak truthfully about lying in a schizoid environment torn between deceitful hype and compulsive confession? The ancient philosopher Aristotle may be of help. He said that honesty was more than unloading everything to everyone. Rather, it is speaking the right truth to the right person at the right time in the right way for the right reason.
Not every truth is mine to tell: a truth shared in confidence or a truth that would needlessly hurt another is not mine to tell. Not every person has a right to know the truth: some willfully distort what they hear; some use facts to bludgeon the life out of larger, more important truths; some have unrelenting and undiscriminating tongues. Not every time is appropriate for the truth: some seasons call for tactful silence. The day your friend's daughter dropped out of school is not the day to tell her that your daughter made the Honor Roll. Not every way of communication honors the truth: sometimes the manner in which something gets conveyed subverts reality, as when a preacher says all the right words about God's love but in a tone of voice and with a concluding string of "oughts" (therefore we ought to do this and we ought to do that) that makes you feel guiltier than ever. Some motives for telling the truth are simply too destructive to deserve to be clothed in respectability; some expressions of "honesty" are really attempts to demean and belittle another person.
When it's the wrong truth, or the wrong person or the wrong time or the wrong way or the wrong reason for telling the truth, a white lie may have more integrity than a facile, insensitive "honesty." But when does a white lie begin to turn a slight shade of gray? When does it cross over and become immoral?
Perhaps a good test would be to ask, "Does this lie protect the other person or does it protect me?" Let's admit that it's not easy to tell the difference. On the surface, a lie may appear to protect someone else from unnecessary pain; on closer examination, however, it may actually serve to save me from uncomfortable exposure. In Graham Greene's The Heart of the Matter, a police officer in a West African colony has an affair, and in an effort to "protect" his wife from the pain of knowing the truth, walks down a road of falsehood that leads to disaster. Greene's story expresses a profound truth reenacted every day. It's easy to convince ourselves we're guarding the feelings of others when we're only trying to protect our own hides--and this sort of deception often ends in more complication, lying and pain than we ever imagined.
But just because it's difficult to tell the difference between an appropriate and a morally unacceptable lie does not mean we should give up the attempt to make the distinction. Life, after all, is difficult. So we press on, doing our best, knowing we're not God and counting on the grace of God when we blow it. Though committed to honesty, we know that sometimes courtesy calls for creatively stretching the truth.
The telephone rings and when you answer it, you hear the voice of your wife's best friend. She speaks in the perky, over-friendly way that's a dead giveaway she thinks you're a first-class horse's heinie. And the feelings are mutual. But your wife likes her a lot, and so you return the banter. She asks to speak to your wife, of course, but she's out for the evening. "Well, I guess I can mention it to you," your wife's friend says. "I'm calling to invite you two to dinner Friday evening. Yesterday your wife said she thought you were free, and I told her I'd get back to her. What do you think?"
What you really think is that you've already seen more than enough of that woman and her boring husband, and that even if next Friday weren't the opening game of the NBA championship series you still wouldn't want to be with them--not for any reason, not under any circumstances, not if they were the last people on earth, not in a million years. So you say, "Well, I suppose that would be just fine. We'll look forward to being with you. Thanks for the invitation."You lie! Yes, but it's not a bad lie, as lies go. It's the sort of white lie that helps lubricate the inevitable friction in social relationships. And though it hides some of your true feelings, it also protects a larger truth--the truth that your wife, at least, will look forward to the evening and really does love her friend, who happens to be going through a difficult time, and that you love your wife and want to make her happy. In the interests of this larger truth you told a white lie, and it was the courteous thing to do.
Still, while the occasional white lie is necessary, we ought to cringe at telling it, knowing that this makes sense only as an occasional practice. For unless we tell the truth to one another we'll be nothing but isolated islands, left to fend for ourselves in an untrustworthy and scary world. Only by speaking the truth can we build bridges to others--bridges that we ourselves will most certainly need someday.
In the middle of a conversation with a medical missionary from Africa, I complimented him on his facility with languages. "You're really amazing," I said to him. "I'm in awe of you. I really don't have a gift for languages." To which he responded, "That's nonsense. Out in the bush where I work the uneducated people speak three or four languages. Actually, Don, you're just lazy. You and your American friends just don't want to be bothered with learning other languages."
Ouch. That was painful. I didn't like him slashing away at my self-justifications, which are among my most treasured possessions. As the late Carlyle Marney said, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you flinch before it makes you free."
Yes, the truth might make you flinch, but it will also make you free--free enough, maybe, to find your way on the terrain of life. Without commitment to the truth, the underbrush of falsehood quickly grows up and you become lost, unable to know where you are, let alone where you're going. M. Scott Peck has written that for psychological and spiritual health, we must be dedicated to reality, and he offers a helpful image: "The less clearly we see the reality of the world--the more our minds are befuddled by falsehood, misperceptions, and illusions--the less able we will be to determine correct courses of action and make wise decisions. Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and inaccurate, we generally will be lost." By speaking the truth, we enable one another to chart accurate maps and thus get from here to wherever we're going with integrity and greater wholeness.
Our relationships, for example, depend on truth. Unless others speak truthfully to us, we never engage real people but only phony images; unless we speak truthfully to others, we never experience the exquisite joy of being known and accepted for who we really are. Any friendship worth cultivating demands honesty.
Tony Campolo told of a time his mother made him go to a funeral to show his respect for the deceased, Mr. Kilpatrick. He drove to the funeral home, entered the chapel, and bowed his head. When he looked around, he noticed he was the only one there, and when he peered into the casket, he did not see Mr. Kilpatrick. He had gone to the wrong funeral. Campolo was about to leave when an elderly woman clutched his arm and pleaded, "You were his friend, weren't you?" Not knowing what to do, he lied and said, "Yeah, he was a good man. Everybody loved him." After the funeral, Campolo and the elderly woman went to the cemetery in a limousine. The casket was lowered into the grave, and both tossed a flower on it.
On the way back to the funeral home, Campolo confessed the truth: "Mrs. King, there's something I've got to tell you. I want to be your friend, and we can't have a friendship unless I tell you the truth. I'm afraid I have to tell you that I didn't really know your husband. I came to his funeral by accident." She squeezed his hand and said, "You'll never, ever, ever know how much your being here with me today meant."
I don't know whether Campolo and Mrs. King became friends; I only know they could not have become genuine friends without Campolo's honesty.
Does this mean we always blurt out the truth, no matter what? No, I don't think so. Let me suggest two guidelines. First, the truth must be pertinent to the situation. Lewis Smedes has beautifully summarized what this means: "A politician ought to speak the truth about public matters as he sees them; he does not need to tell us how he feels about his wife. A doctor ought to tell me the truth, as he understands it, about my health; he does not need to tell me his views on universal health insurance. A minister ought to preach the truth, as he sees it, about the gospel; he does not need to tell the congregation what he feels about the choir director. [Telling the truth] does not call us to be garrulous blabbermouths. Truthfulness is demanded from us about the things that we ought to speak about at all." It is neither ethical nor courteous to dump all our feelings at all times on all people. When it is appropriate, though, we have an obligation to speak with honesty.
Second, the truth must be used to build up and not tear down. The truth can be used to ream out, beat up and put down; it can be used to force someone into submission or to flatten into nonexistence another person's feelings of self-worth. But those who respect others will speak it with sensitivity, in ways that help others grow toward greater responsibility and maturity. This is part of what St. Paul had in mind, I think, when he wrote about "speaking the truth in love."
So Tom, after investing a lot of capital in his friendship with Mike--after much laughter and tears and Monday Night Football and jogging together--takes the risk over beer and pizza to say, "Mike, by now you know how much I care about you. Because of my love, I need to level with you. I'm worried you're spending far too much time at work. To put it to you straight, buddy, you're neglecting your wife and kids, and I think you're headed for serious trouble. Now that I've spoken my piece, I won't keep bugging you (at least about this). But know that I want to help in anyway I can."
Or Susan says to Andrea, "Well, my friend, before we get back to work, I want to share with you something I've been thinking about for a while. You know how much you've meant to me, not only as a friend but as my pastor. You know you're my spiritual mentor. I'm not a trained theologian or preacher, but I want to give you some feedback on a mannerism you have in the pulpit that's pretty annoying."
If you're blessed to have a friend like Tom or Susan, a friend who cares enough to speak the truth, even when it hurts, immediately get on your knees and thank God for this blessing. And if you want to be a courteous person, dedicate yourself to speaking the truth, when it's pertinent and with love, even when it's difficult. If we would all do this, we'd help one another chart maps that correspond to reality, and we just might have an easier time finding our way in life.

Donald W. McCullough is president of San Francisco Theological Seminary and professor of theology and preaching. This article is adapted from Say Please, Say Thank You: The Respect We Owe One Another, forthcoming from Putnam (1998). This article appeared in The Christian Century, September 9-16, 1998, pp. 820-822. Copyright by The Christian Century Foundation; used by permission. Current articles and subscription information can be found at This article prepared for Religion Online by Ted & Winnie Brock.

Dull Friday

Well, really gotta make this space more useful as it's empty..
Being in the faculty's computer lab and printing some assignments to hand up last minute and also to print some personal stuff, then thought 'why not write something here?'

Was watching the national news yesterday on Berita Utama and they showed the air view of Johor when it was flooded. I guess never in history or my memory has a flood of that magnitude happen in Malaysia. It really is a wonder how such catastrophy could happen. While the government is blaming it on global warming and other issues, the Tengku Mahkota said it was due to un-structured plannning of development which led to this happening. And I for one supports his excellency as I too believe it was due to poor town planning.

Although I'm not a native in Johor, but all Malaysians do know that Johor has undergone a mass development within this last few months or a year ago. With all these 'creation' of new building and tourist attraction centre, I guess the state government was too blinded or refuse to acknowledge the fact that they were also underlying the base of a future disaster, waiting just to happen. It's a wonder where all the mud and soil that were left after the flood came from, lots of question mark (????)...With river base shalowing, how much could mother nature hold on before it overflow?? I don't think these small little facts are miss upon when planning for development especially if it was done by so called 'expects'.

I guess Malaysians could only wait for the research to be completed and hopefully the federal government will be transparent about it to bear the truth..

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Me Blog is Born

Hmm..finally a time to write something after all the 'wooha' of setting up my blog. Paiseh only to leave it empty while saying the Thinkerish is Born.
Well, after giving much thought on whether to set up this blog (coz before this, there was a controversy on bloggers in my organisation as bloggers are term 'in-sensitive' to others), i can proudly say that my blog is here and it's going to stay..
So, since this is my first post. A friendly reminder to who-ever is reading it, please do comment on anything that I've post up as I appreciate it but at the same time, don't 'lecture' me on how I should write my blog kay..hehe..After all, you can choose not to visit this blog ever if you find it not to your perousal.

Have a great time reading although my blog is kinda naked at the moment, I'll try to post more issues here (regardless of whether it's academic, my personal life, my views or anything else under the sun). My wish is that this blog could update my friends on what's going on in my life, meet new acquintance if possible and to have fruitful engagement with other bloggers..

Shalom and be prepared for more to come (*_*)v