6 months and counting on...

Its been 6 months since someone dear to my family was brought back HOME..

Its been 6 months since my life was altered (for good or for bad)eternally..

Its been 6 months since my life will always be filled with a void and sweet memories altogether..

Its been 6 months since God has challenge me in ways I do not comprehend..

Its been 6 months since my tears flow freely as flashing memories passes by..

The date is 24 October 2008 and that was the day I 'graduated' from my GIP programme with Nielsen and receive the confirmation of my mother's departure from her suffering of her ailing and weakening body that has succumbed to cancer.

A part of my life is missing ever since her return to be with the Lord Jesus. A mother who calls you at least once each week to find out whether your life is going well, a friend who listens to all my private woes and joy, a confidante that I trust with my deepest secrets, a wife who cares and love my dad, a mother to my sisters who misses her dearly..Words can never describe how I feel now as I ponder upon the good years we had with this special person I call 'Mother'!!

Although a part of me knows she went with a happy heart to meet her Saviour and Lord but my human-ness can never hide the feeling of 'IF ONLY' she did not have to go.

I won't have the chance to show mom her future daughter-in-law, her future grandsons and grand-daughters..won't have chance to buy her that branded handbag which I promise to get once I've reach that level of stature and the list goes on.

I just miss this special person who holds the title of MOM..Its a futile attempt to write out what my hearts feel and as I write this entry..tears are flowing again as the song of Amazing Grace, sung by Chris Tomlin renders on my laptop..I shall let the pictures to do the talking/memory I have in me..



"one of the best family pic"


"happy couple-ing"


"first visit to Elder sis in Brunei"


"Anniversary in Hospital-place isnt sig as long as LOVE is there"


"Ever so positive although being sick"


"Smiling through the waves of life"


"Happy moments before 'departure'- a week before"


"The Service"


"Breaking down in public-overflow with emotions during testimony"

All I can say is...24 October would bring a significant meaning from 2008 onwards. For the Lord who gave life to my life bearer has taken her back to a better place-the Kingdom of God where everything is perfect!!

Slapping Own's FACE..

I've been following the news both from main stream and also the alternative news portal and I feel so oblige to just scrabble some thoughts here in my blog. Wanted to write an article on my comment but due to time constraint, I'll just keep it short.

I'm sure if you read the news of our newly DPM talking about non-Malay 'seolah-olah tidak menghargai' what the BN has done just before each time there is an election (giving out goodies. He was mentioning that when BN gives out all this 'incentive' or goodies, whichever suits your taste bud and saying that the non-Malays have not appreciated it by turning goodies into votes, isn't that blatantly admitting that DPM or BN is trying to buy the votes???
Coz in my childish mind, I think what he is implying is that development and money incentive from BN can ONLY be given to those who turn it into votes in elections to come. No votes=No help from BN government

Isn't that a threat to the citizens of Malaysia as a whole?? (I hope we aren't that dumb to know that fact)

And if talking about citizens being ungrateful to BN, shouldn't the whole Malay race be considered ungrateful the MOST? [I'm not trying to stir any racial sentiments but to stir your thought on how misguided the argument was given]
Reason of saying so is because the government has ensured that Malay special priviledges and Islam as the official religion is enshrined in our Constitution, MARA and likes are established purely for Malays, there is the MCKK which only houses Malays, Malays have Amanah Saham purely design and solely sold to them, quota in almost everything that is offered to the citizens (scholarship, civil service etc), discount for buying properties coz of race not household income and my list can go on and on..but eventually, what I want to say is..If its truly about being ungrateful, then the Malays are the most ungrateful lot coz they should be behind BN with 100% votes.

Having said the above, I MUST EMPHASIZE here that my intention is to stir the thought of looking at the bigger picture and don't just accept what our leaders say as leaders are mere human being that happen to be MP because of US in the first place. Let us analysis the whole situation wholesome and don't play the game of accusation merely to divert the attention of the true cause of failure:

Money incentive didn't turn into votes because the Rakyat are dissatisfied with 'goodies' that only comes before election and by-elections. Serve the people well during the whole term with respect and honesty on your day job and I PROMISE- votes will come back to BN for a TRUE proven record since the Alliance was forge.

Letter to PM

This letter below can relate to me and many Malaysians as our 6th PM take over the nation and is promising certain things to the people. I personally do not care whether he was involved in killing the Mongolian, 'makan' till satisfied with all taxpayers money, has a royal history behind him; for ONE good reason and that is he is now the PM.

Do what you said. Restore the hurt and uneasiness that has affected our past by honouring the true intention of NEP which is to help all poor regardless of race and religion. Be the PM of the people (not just UMNO or Malays)as you now represent MALAYSIA and not MALAY-sia.

I can blind myself from the past wrong IF you are able to make this nation one step closer to ONE-ness as promise. However, I still wear a spectacle of doubtfulness as our PM has not really step up for now. By saying that he would help us get through the economic crisis, you see in newspaper that state government and other organizations wasting money to congratulate him for his 'success' which did not entirely came from the rakyat anyway..Our PM did not voice out to tell these boot lickers that this act is not necessary and boot lickers should use the money for better use.

Anyway, have a read of this article below by a fellow writer.


Najib, don't be the shortest term PM
Sarajun Hoda Abdul Hassan | Apr 6, 09 4:32pm


Dear Dato Seri Mohd Najib Tun Abdul Razak

First, Malaysians congratulate you on being appointed the sixth prime minister of our beloved country. Next, some quick wisdom for you.

Please reduce your cabinet size to not more than 20. For a small country with a population of about 26 million, 31 ministers handling about 30 ministries plus few more portfolios under the PM’s Department is probably one of the highest in the world per capita.

Yes, you said being the prime minister is a huge responsibility the people have given you. Actually, no. The people did not appoint you as a prime minister. You took it upon yourself. So the people do not owe you anything.

It is you who owe the people. So you will have to prove yourself. Stop being overconfident of having the royalty behind you. The royalty would only take a split second to shift sides if the balance of power swings the other way. So stop fooling yourself.

By reducing to the cabinet to 20:

i. You will save big money for the country especially during these difficult times. We know how much money it takes to run each ministry and how much leaks out to political party interests and for personal appeasements.

ii. The ministries will become more effective and dispense ‘quality’ and forceful decisions.

iii. You will reduce money politics tremendously. They won’t clamour for ministerial posts anymore because they must know and be told in very clear terms that ministerial positions do not come with party positions.

Malaysians cannot be cheated anymore. It is so clear who performs and who really doesn’t. A ministry is a very tall order. You cannot give it out like peanuts for political expediencies.

iv. You do not need to appease all coalition members by having a place for them in the cabinet. Be a bit creative. There is no shortage of positions of power all around you to fill. Some chairperson positions are better paid, they are able to dispense development and are more powerful than a minister.

v. The ministerial posts will become more elite, respectful and more influential.

And please stop the habit of accepting expensive gifts when attending functions. And please stop making special clothes for every specific function. You are burning by wholesale the people’s hardearned money which has these days fallen extremely scarce.

And stop awarding too many honours to people who did not work for them and who do not deserve them. Thousands of ‘Datuk-ship’ and other honours are given away to people by virtue of them just being members of political parties.

Do you know how people who have really contributed to the country’s betterment (not with money) year in and year out feel when they are bypassed for an award in favour of a neighbour who is just a branch head? How do you explain that?

And please appoint ministers by meritocracy and not by names submitted by the coalition parties. Heading a political party and heading a ministry is quite a different cup of tea altogether. Some leaders who come up in the party by money politics will expect to be appointed ministers in order to do some ‘recovery’. When the takers stop, the giving will stop too.

Malaysians are now far more intelligent than you imagine. You don’t know that because you are surrounded by people that only ampu you. So you do not know the truth. People won’t buy the same lame excuses that ‘the names submitted by the coalition party heads are the best in ‘quality’ for a ministerial appointment.’

You would be wiser if you ask these parties to submit a list of names with the candidates bio-data and professional achievements. Then you decide who would be best by meritocracy to be appointed ministers. You don’t want to be shamed when a minister is unable to show results to the citizens and you keep sinking in the polls.

You don’t want ministers that can’t even speak proper Bahasa Malaysia when answering in Parliament, would you? You don’t want ministers that cannot understand what it means to bring meaningful changes for the betterment of the country. You don’t want a minister who surrenders halfway saying he just can’t solve the taxi men’s recalcitrancy, would you?

I am sorry. But if Mohd Khir Toyo’s traveling and spending revelations are any indication, a much lesser number of ministers will mean saving government expenditure by the billions. Imagine, there are still many pockets of people living without a roof over their heads, without water and electricity.

They deserve this money more than anybody else. Now that many more are unemployed, you will never be able to explain to them or to the taxpayers such a serious betrayal of the people’s fund.

Please reduce serious wastage. Limit the money these ministers can spend overseas and make sure they stick to the budget. For every ringgit spent by your ministers both federal and state, the people will want to know what will they and the country get in return.

Real investments, real business and real opportunities. Malaysian people do not buy empty promises and empty hopes anymore. We have been cheated enough and for far too long. We now read between lines.

Do not appoint members of Umno Youth to a ministerial post. It is a big NO. It takes time and training before they can become a minister. You took a long time and the long route. So you are the best trained to be a prime minister. You could possibly even become the best prime minister this country will ever have.

But first, you will have to listen to the people. The changes you have been talking about and the ‘One Malaysia’ thing is good thing if done honestly and sincerely. But you will have to ask some of your big-mouthed ministers to watch their mouths and start listening to the people.

Stop behaving arrogantly with smugness and stop hurting the feelings and dignity of the rest of us. The Chinese, the Indians, the rest are here to stay. So stop treating them as second-class citizens.

We know you will have to repay your gratitude to the last two prime ministers. You must appoint Mukhriz and Khairy into the Cabinet. It is okay. But let them start from the deputy ministerial level.

Khairy will have to watch his mouth or he will bring you down. You don’t want that, would you?

Please change or the people might change you instead in no time. If you don’t buck up, please be reminded, you could end up as the shortest term prime minister. What a pity that would be, don’t you think?

Does TWO wrong make ONE right?

Its always intriguing to ponder does two wrong make one right? Because it seems that at certain point in our society, logical thinking don't really happen esp if the scenario is in politics. One person who builds a mansion in Klang and scoundrel the people's money is only let off with warning and in fact, just got off like that due to his sudden demise (some say 'let it be since he is already dead') or some leader in Penang who belittle other races in a state where other races are the majority but gets welcome in party meeting with glamour and triumphant kompang beats as a HERO of their race although being suspended by the central party while ON THE OTHER HAND,others who just mention their views are being dump into ISA or being threatened with life bullets sent to their address and at times, career being burnt due to concrete finding such as the ASLI incident few years back (I'm unable to comprehend esp since we're educated to argue cases based on facts and figure).

Coming to my point of the day, it is reported (The Star, 6 Apr 09-Better voice in government with a Chinese Deputy PM, says Wee) that certain "friend" in the Ally has suggested that a post of Deputy PM and Deputy Chairman of BN be created for a certain race to 'forge' better representation while "friends" (Malaysiakini.com, DPM-to-be coy over 2nd DPM proposal)from the so ever mighty keris party of the coalition (coz they control everything, although not admitting)either refuse to be drawn into speculation or having denial syndrome out of sudden. (funny how Malaysian politicians work with each other huh..)

My point is like this:
1) Was it right for Friend C to suggest establishing a post?
2) Was it proper for Friend M to retaliate as such?

Point 1: As someone who holds strongly in One Malaysia or Bangsa Malaysia as its famously known, I hold steadfast to my believe that Malaysia can only move forward as a nation when race based politics are in the bin(debatable question whether a race based system can work. Therefore, creating a post specifically for just another race ain't moving in that direction; in fact, it confirms that our leaders are not doing what they preach on podiums during Merdeka celebration or speaking to global community. I would only support this suggestion if it were out of a portfolio urgency or due to creating a special task force to forge unity once and for all in our land.

Point 2: Having said the above, I would also strongly advocate that the reactions given by Friend M are also very childish and immature, thus confirming my doubt in the coalition is a big happy family. Some say its a political gimmick played by Friend C to be a populist, a fighter for their own race (isn't that Friend's M all time favourite weapon anyway), cashing in on the timing as Najib clings on to power etc. All failed to see that the issue of race is still a ticking time bomb, awaiting some idiot to trigger it. All friend M seems to be doing, is either deny it or reply its not important to discuss for the moment and there are bigger task at hand.

HELLO!!! We've been trying to tackle race-based issue since Independence. What else is more important than true unity and for Malaysians to unite??? Damn.. They are still too selfish to attempt on this delicate discussion.

The issue is how to get this country we all will pour our blood (tanah tumpah-nya darah KU)to look into each others eyes with love, compassion, understanding not compromising, and build sense of patriotism that not only 'menjelma' during Merdeka month on posters and slogans but is SHINING throughout the whole year on Tanah Melayu.

It has been far too long we allow lip service on UNITY..It has been far too long race and religion is being suppress to be practise in true freedom..It has been far too long citizens are kept un-informed of our politician-leader's true intention..It has been far too long Malaysians have kept quiet..It has been far too long Malaysians remain dormant and 'tidak apa'..It DEFINITELY has been a long long 50 years of sliding backwards.

TWO wrong definitely doesn't make ONE right!! Therefore, we as a nation has to ensure that the government works for its people and not the people become slaves to its elected representatives...

p/s If you're a book lover, may I suggest reading "the clash of civilization and the remaking of world order" by Samuel P. Huntington

Saya Pun Warganegara Malaysia

Recently as I was surfing for Malaysian related news, I decided to give The Nut Graph a view since its been some time since I last visited the site. And an article caught my eye not just because of what the title is but more so because who wrote that article.

It was entitled ‘Saya Pun Melayu’ by Zaid Ibrahim.

We Malaysians know very well that ever since birth, race and religion somehow or rather always get twine in our daily life especially during political campaign or political motivated speeches in respective party such as the just concluded UMNO Assembly. (This includes all other race-based parties that exist in Malaysia)

Ever since my younger days, I have been inculcated by our society that race makes a big difference in life. If you are born a non-Malay, you need to suck up all the dismay when applying for scholarship or opportunities laid out as there is a quota for race; suck up the fact that due to difference in skin colour, you may be promoted slower if not at all to executive management in civil service; suck up the fact that it would most probably take you twice as hard to be on same level playing field. Nonetheless, are we (non-Malays) that badly treated in Malaysia??

After March 2008 mark the ‘social awakening’, I believe many Malaysians (all races) see a dim light at the end of the tunnel which never existed under M leadership. For those who has always dream of a country where Malaysians live as one and not separated by colour, we must persevere as the wave has only started. Each citizen should play a part, no matter big or small with valour to hold steadfast. A time when a matured society where level of trust is not just a mere political rhetoric sounding for publicity; a time when true ‘understanding’ exist-will come.
(Understanding has to go both ways. Meaning non-Muslims respect our Muslim Bro&Sis way of life and don’t question while the Muslim community also do not obstruct the way of life of fellow countrymen)

History and education on our Malaysian constitution should be taught in high school level to inculcate sense of loyalty and knowing how this nation was forged to be what and where we are. Government should not impose its will but leave it to academicians to deliberate and criticize as history is built by facts and figure, nothing more.

Do read Zaid Ibrahim’s article when free.